Three Experiences in my Financial Journey when it was so obvious I was a Woman
First a shout-out to my parents. When it came to talking and teaching about money, gender didn’t matter. My brothers, sisters, and I heard all the same stories and lessons. Now, it wasn’t always fair and our experiences or interpretations weren’t the same but you know what I’m saying. I’m incredibly grateful to my parents for that.
While my parents were great, the financial industry wasn’t. Here are three times it was so obvious that I was a woman on my financial journey.
Buying My First Condo
Call it great timing but I graduated from college in 2003 and bought my condo in 2004. How? A combination of internal actions and external factors.
I was a very diligent saver. I started working during the summer when I was 14. And my senior year of college, I worked nearly full-time. I also wasn’t saddled with student loan debt as my mom made me apply for every grant and scholarship (like one where I wrote an essay and received $500 for being left-handed!) and my parents took out loans in their names.
Also, it was 2004. They were doing “no doc” loans and giving mortgages away like candy (see Housing Crash of 2008 mere years later).
So, I buy a two bedroom condo with plans of renting out the second bedroom to my high school friend that was already my roommate. I had just enough savings for the down payment. And at the closing table, a stack of papers were waiting for me to sign. I got through the loan docs, then off to the title docs and there it was. Jennifer Uhen, Spinster. Yes, when I bought my first condo in Chicago in 2004, my title was not “Single Woman,” or even “Unmarried Female.” It was Spinster. It was a WTF moment that was quickly overcome with the sheer excitement that the title I really cared about was HOMEOWNER! Call me a Spinster, call me a monster, just make me a homeowner!
Thankfully, I have heard that Chicago has since changed the title on the paperwork, they were just super slow to do so.
Buying a Car as a Married Woman
I have always had an opinion on cars. I like certain brands, I have kept up with model year changes, and enjoy driving something that makes me happy. It’s not a sportscar, it’s usually a very specific feature or vibe. I married a man that couldn’t care less about cars.
So in 2020, it was time for a new-to-us car and I knew exactly what I wanted…and we were heading out so I could convince my husband it was what he wanted to. I had done the research and had a few options are nearby dealerships. I wanted a 2017 Volkswagen Touareg. The Touareg is essentially a Porsche - same parts, same features. And it had a towing capacity of 7700 lbs (which was great for the small Airstream I had future plans of buying…yes, that happened too).
The one I wanted was a used one at a Ford dealer. We went in as a couple. A dealer approached my husband…and me (IYKYK). I asked about the Touareg, the dealer said it was in service having a window repaired. My husband ducked off to the bathroom. The dealer made very light small talk with me. And when my husband returned, the dealer turned to him and said, “So what I was telling your wife was….” The dealer handed my husband his business card and we left.
We dropped the dealer’s business card on a desk as we were leaving. The guy blew it. He didn’t understand who the decision maker was. It annoyed me and pissed off my husband (yeah, I married well).
We went down the street and bought a Touareg from the VW dealer. And as a bonus, it was a CPO (Certified Pre-Owned) model. And since it was April 2020, they were offering 0% APR on CPOs! It was a great deal. We still have the car and will making the final payment next month and I hope to have this car for a long time.
Owning and Operating a Restaurant
One of the biggest financial risks my husband and I made was purchasing an existing restaurant. We were essentially buying a job. There’s a lot we loved about it (like our amazing employees), and other things that were tough.
A specific experience that reminded me I was a woman in this experience was in 2019…and it was one of the reasons I created The Pledgettes.
We were in an online group with other owners of the same franchise and, without fail, if someone complained about anything, it got back to the franchisor. Shocking that a private group on the internet isn’t really private. (sarcasm)
Anyway, to remedy the mole, the group put up a poll about who should be in the group. Because of the language used and assumptions, many women were voting against their best interest, which would lead to their removal from a group they were active.
Even when I would reach out to the women directly, they would disagree. It came down to a nuance of who signed the franchise agreement, where there was only one line so a couple couldn’t both sign. And many women weren’t going back to realize that though they were actively participating in the purchase of this restaurant, they didn’t sign on this line.
In this experience owning this business, many people assumed this was my husband’s thing, and I was playing the role of supportive wife. But what they didn’t see was the equal partnership my husband and I had with capital and strategic decisions.
I know that this is preaching to the choir. The reality is that women do have different experiences with money.
We’re given more messages about budgeting and saving. While men get more messaging around investing, negotiating, and growing.
And it wasn’t until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974 that it became illegal to discriminate against women for loans and financial services.
Today is an incredible time to be a woman financially. We have access to more education and more opportunities than ever before. And I’m on a mission to close the Gender Wealth Gap by supporting women. Join us!
