A Healthy Wealthy Talk with Parents
Recently, I was invited to facilitate a money talk at The Den Denver, a family-friendly coffee shop and community hub in Colorado.
There are many articles and experts telling parents what they SHOULD and SHOULDN’T do when it comes to parenting. Our approach is that there are often many good choices in front of you, and doing something often outperforms doing nothing!
So we gathered a group of parents to have a Healthy Wealthy Talk about their wishes for the financial futures of their kids…and the role they can play in it!
First, let’s go back!
We discussed their financial experiences with their parents. What money experiences left a positive influence on their financial journeys? What money lessons did they learn from their caregivers, subconsciously or consciously? (These are also great conversation starters to have with your parents and extended family).
Participants shared conversations with their parents about applying for student loans and doing chores to receive an allowance. They remembered hearing their parents argue about money or seeing their mom stress about spending.
We also talked about those experiences that their parents included them in financial decision-making. I shared three great experiences my parents provided for me to develop my financial decision-making process in this blog.
Money is emotional, so let’s not dismiss it!
One of my favorite Healthy Wealthy Talks conversation starter is
“What is your first money memory?”
I love this question because it includes another person (someone has to introduce us to the concept of money and there’s a feeling attached to it.
Some were stressed when grocery shopping with their mom and being worried if they had enough money. Others remember the pride they felt when earning money at a lemonade stand.
How do you feel about money?
The average person has 50 - 200 beliefs about money like:
Money is the root of all evil.
Money gives us choices.
Rich people are greedy.
Money comes to me when I have a purpose for it.
It feels good to be paid for things that come easily to me.
Wealth is something for others, but not for me.
It’s important to be a good budgeter and a thrifty shopper.
Some money beliefs are positive and encourage us to build wealth, take action and learn more. Negative money beliefs may be the reason we retreat and ignore our money. Why would we want to build wealth if we believe that rich people are bad?
Then our conversation shifted to, how do you want your kids to feel about money?
Some of the words that came up included:
Mindful, Balanced
Confident to make Choices
Empowered
Comfortable
Not Scared, Not a Burden
Educated on Opportunity Cost
It takes Effort/Action (Things don’t just happen)
Not emotional
Be the Financial Influencers Your Kids Need
And we ended the discussion by brainstorming experiences they can provide their kids, including:
Having money talks in front of them and with them. But keeping more complex decisions for the adults
Talking to generous grandparents about Financial Decision Making and Conscious Consumerism (being intentional with how we spend)
Starting them early for future success with 529 contributions/life insurance products/brokerage accounts
buy-in/ownership | split the cost (maybe you want to pay for a travel sports team, and they need to work to earn some sporting equipment)
Matching programs (match savings or investments they make)
Huge thank you to Sam Heyer, Leah Medvin, and The Den Denver for inviting me to their space and facilitating this valuable discussions with their community!
If this blog has you thinking and you want more, check out our latest workbook, Financial Clarity & Financial Confidence for the Whole Family Workbook.
