The State of Our Union (an agenda for a money meeting)
I call my money meeting with my husband, “State of Our Union.” Cheeky, right? Below you can see the agenda that we use. And I’m sharing some Healthy, Wealthy Talks conversation starters.
If we only talk about money when it’s stressful, our relationship with money will be stressful. So schedule a time away from when the credit card statement comes or when you have to figure sh*t out with your money!
Wishing you a healthy, wealthy life!
Jenn
00 - Prepare
Make some space for each of you to add agenda items on what is important. Set the mood. Get your favorite beverage, light a candle, play music.
01 - Celebrate
There is always something to celebrate. A big win, milestones, or progress. Hold up the trophy, high-five, or eat a piece of chocolate to appreciate your win!
Some celebrations can be: learning something new, starting a money talk, scheduling your State of Our Union, moving some money, finding money, earning money, investing money, intentionally spending money, looking at your money.
02 - Healthy Wealthy Talks
We’re still peeling back the layers of the onion before we getting into some more fiscal conversations. So use our Healthy Wealthy Talks Conversation Deck to talk about your relationship with money and your experiences.
Here are some sample questions to get your started:
What's your first money memory?
How do you feel about your relationship with money? How do you want to feel?
What would you do if you won the lottery?
How can I be a good partner to you on your financial journey?
When we achieve our shared goal, how will we celebrate?
03 - Declare your Big Financial Goal
Share the clearest version of your Big Financial Goal. Each money meeting is an opportunity to recommit or evolve your Big Financial Goal. You are two individual people so you can have individual goals and a shared goal!
I like seeing these three things in a Big Financial Goal:
Get really clear on what financial freedom, financial security, financial stability, financial independent or whatever word you use means to you.
A number. Whether this is a savings goal, investment account balance, compensation amount, or net worth number, put a financial number in there.
A date. Pick a date, any date. Each time you meet and declare your goal, you can tweak it to something that motivates you to take financial action. You may want to move the date back or up but start somewhere.
04 - Where is all the money?
Go through all your money, yup, all of it - individual and shared. The first time may take some work but it will go faster the next money meeting.
I track my net worth each month at our Financial First Fridays virtual coworking session. The more practice to do with it, the more efficient it becomes to do and the more valuable it becomes as I see how knowing where all the money is supports me in making more aligned goals.
05 - Our Money, Time, and Energy
How are we spending our money, time, and energy? Is it in alignment with our Big Financial Goal?
I will continue to work for my entire life on finding the right balance of money, time, and energy.
In our State of Our Union, it could look like talking about how a higher paying client or job is draining all our energy and we want to change that soon. Or how we’re spending a lot of time and energy cleaning the house and if we should hire a cleaning person or company.
06 - Money Moves
What money moves can we make for more alignment with our values and goals? We strive for progress over perfection.
This is when we talk about things we have been contemplating for a while and taking action towards. If we are planning to purchase a house, can we cut expenses to put more money towards our down payment? If we have some extra money, can we increase contributions to our 401(k)s to get more of the company match?
07 - Reflect
Reflect on how you feel. What was your favorite part of this meeting that will make you want to come back for more? What felt good? How can this agenda be tailored to you, your goals, and your relationship?
Thank your partner and yourself for prioritizing this conversation.
08 - Commit
Money talks are valuable but action is what builds wealth. What action do you want to take based on your State of Our Union/Money meeting?
So now that you have this agenda and flow, talk to your partner about having a State of Our Union money meeting. Maybe you start with only a section. Like most things, with practice, you’ll find more ease and confidence.
If you want to have your first State of Our Union with me as a facilitator, set up a 1:1 Session with me!
Or for my single friends, I would be happy to do this with you in a 1:1 Session or you can do it alongside other Pledgettes in our Financial First Friday events.
Have questions or feedback? Send me a message! (See below)
